


would you spare me your voice if i called?

by soofjam



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Dark Continent Arc, don't ask me who has the eyes in this fic if not tserrendich bc i have no idea, just pretending that the dark continent arc isn't happening tbh, kurapika avenges the clan, leorio is still in med school, med school WOULD take longer to complete than collecting the eyes of your dead friends and relatives, which i think seems about right
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25544911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soofjam/pseuds/soofjam
Summary: kurapika finally decides to return the calls he's been missing.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 22
Kudos: 159





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a transcription of a phone call made moments after realizing that there's nothing to avenge anymore

**Dialing: Leorio P.**

**...**

**...**

** [answered at 22:43] **

_Kurapika?! Where are you? Are you alright?_

Leorio--it's done.

What's done? I've called you--I called every other day and you never picked up.

I'm sorry.

You sound terrible, my god. What happened? Do you need help?

No, I'm--I don't need help. I'm fine.

You don't _sound_ fine!

I'm just tired.

You're always tired because you never _rest_ , no matter what I tell you. Kurapika, _what_

_happened?_

...

...Can you not talk? Is there someone there?

No, I...I'm alone.

**...**

I've had no idea where you were--nobody does--I was thinking you were in a coma or

in a ditch somewhere for _weeks_ until I ask one of the kids to get you to drop some hint

that you were alive, and you'll answer _them_ \--Gon and Killua are worried, too. Did you

know they aren't with each other anymore? 

Gon told me.

We're all splintered off. Gon gets Killua to call me sometimes, so I know roughly where

he and Alluka are. I like to imagine, anyway.

...

...hold on, are you crying?

No.

Kurapika, what happened? What's finished? You never said.

Can we just...sit quietly for a minute? Please? I'll tell you, but right now, I...calling you felt

like the one thing I should do, but I feel like I can barely talk.

...

...I'm sorry. I've been awful. But I wanted to...I just don't want to be alone.

**...**

...Ok. We can just sit together, then.

**...**

I'm glad you called. I hope you're safe right now and that you can come home.

**...**

Where is that? With you?

...

Are _you_ crying?

No!

You sound pretty terrible, Leorio.

You're so--

Sorry. Had to. I missed it.

Then why didn't you pick up?

...I don't know. I had to finish it first. I had to stay focused.

...you have them all now?

...I thought I would feel their presence. But I just--

**...**

What time is it, where you are?

Past midnight.

I'm sorry, I didn't keep track--

No, don't apologize. I was already awake cramming. Exams are coming up soon.

I should let you go.

 _No_ , Kurapika--I haven't heard your voice in ages. I'll be fine. Talk to me. Or don't.

We can just sit, too. You don't have to talk yet if you don't want to.

**...**

Leorio.

Kurapika?

Thank you.

Don't thank me. Come visit me if you want to thank me.

You mean, come home?

...Yeah. Come home.

I will. I promise.

Soon?

Yes. Still too late.

No, not too late.

**...**

Leorio?

I'm still here.

Will you be up much longer?

I have two more chapters to review tonight. Do you want me to stay on with you?

You don't have to.

No, I will. I want to. It's ok.

Ok. Thank you. It's silly, but--I can listen to you working. The book pages and pencil

pick up on the phone. And you muttering to yourself.

You miss me that much?

...

Did you laugh just then? At least a little bit?

I do miss you, Leorio.

I miss you, too.

**...**

Hey, Kurapika. There are twenty-four letters in the word "lymphangioleiomyomatosis."

 _Twenty-four_. And spelling counts on all of these exams. I keep staring at the word and

my eyes just glaze over. I might need a better prescription, but come on. I can tell you

how to treat it and how to diagnose it, but spelling it? Different story.

**...**

Kurapika? You asleep?

**...**

You sleep so quietly, I can't tell if you're out cold or the line went dead.

**...**

Yeah, you're out. Good. Probably look like you've seen hell. You probably _have_ seen it.

**...**

Goodnight, Kurapika.

**...**

**[call ended at 00:34. duration: 01:51:53]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> transcription of a phone call made on a distant station platform

**Dialing: Leorio P.**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**[answered at 11:06]**

Hello?

Leorio, it's me. Kurapika?

No, I know.

You sounded like you weren't sure.

No, I--your name pops up when you call, I was just surprised.

Why?

Well, it's just--(sorry, I'll catch up with you in a second)--

Is now a bad time?

No, you're fine, I'm getting lunch with some friends from class right now. But we can

talk.

Oh. That sounds nice.

What's going on?

Well, I'm just...waiting for my train, and thought I would call you and let you know.

Train where?

To Lukso.

Oh...have you been back at all, since--

No, I haven't. But I think it's the best place to lay them all to rest.

You're carrying all of them on your person? What if someone jumps you and steals

them all back?

I'd like to see them try.

_Kurapika!_

They're not on my person. I have a false-bottom trunk. I'm watching them load it onto

the train right now. I know exactly where it is and I'll sit right above it. It's going to be

fine, Leorio.

I still don't like it.

There's not a better solution. Traveling with them on foot is far more dangerous. It

would leave more openings for that exact situation to happen. But this is the last

thing I can do for them.

...I know. It's important to you. Just be careful.

I'm always careful.

Not when it comes to this!

**...**

I'm sorry. I--

No...you're right. But I don't--I'm not angry anymore. I just feel...

...

...empty.

**...**

I keep remembering that this is my last stop, and then there's nothing left for me to

do here. It's strange.

That's not true. You still have things to do.

What do you mean?

I mean--well, after you go back, get closure--or something like closure--your life isn't

over. There's everything else still to come.

...

And you said you were coming to visit me soon.

I am. After I finish this, I'll come home.

You'd better.

**...**

Why did you sound so surprised that I called you?

Well, _you've_ called _me_ _twice_ in the past three days. It has to be a new record.

And _you_ haven't called _me once_. You set your own new record.

Well, I thought-- _listen_ , I thought that I should let you worry about _me_ for once. And it

worked! Stop laughing at me!

Leorio. Reverse psychology? _Really?_

 _Yes!_ Persistence wasn't working, so I pulled back, and you followed. Don't deny it.

Sure. Fine. If you want to believe that's what happened, then you can.

That _is_ what happened and I'll do it again if I have to.

Did you pass your exam?

Yes, by a hair, but I did it.

Good, I'm glad. See, I also wanted to call and ask about the exam. I _can_ worry about

you without you tricking me into it.

Hm. Well. Thank you for asking.

**...**

They're boarding the train. I should let you go eat.

Let me know when you're coming home so I can meet you.

I will. I'll see you soon.

Be safe!

I will.

I'll never forgive you if you don't.

I'm sure that'll last all of ten minutes.

I'm not kidding!

I'm not, either. I know you, Leorio.

**...**

Ok, I'm getting on. Goodbye.

Bye, Kurapika. I--

**[call ended at 11:23. duration: 00:17.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u to everyone who was so nice to me in the comments and encouraged me to add on; i hope u like this continuation :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> transcription of a phone call made after laying them to rest, at last

**Dialing: Leorio P.**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**[answered at 20:56]**

Hey.

Hey. Sorry I missed you earlier. I don't get reception in the valley.

That's alright.

You sound groggy; did I wake you up?

Yeah. It's ok. I wasn't out that long.

I keep forgetting the time difference. I'm sorry.

Nah, it's fine. How are you?

I'm...ok.

How ok is ok? You're calling me first again, so probably not that ok.

No, well--you'll keep holding that over my head forever, won't you?

For as long as it gets me favors and wins me arguments.

Hmm.

You got there safe?

Yes.

Nobody stolen?

No.

You didn't have to fight anybody off?

No.

That's a goddamn _miracle_.

I know. It felt too easy, almost. After everything.

**...**

Ok, Kurapika. I wanna ask.

Yes?

What about the Troupe? Is there still...ya know. Unfinished business?

What do you mean?

You've collected all of the-- _remains_ \--

The Scarlet Eyes.

Yes, the eyes. So does that mean that you've...when you said "it's done," what did that

mean? Did you get rid of them all, or?

...

You just said you weren't angry anymore and I wondered.

...No, I didn't kill the all of the Spiders.

...

I'm not sure if I'm going to pursue it to that end. I'll always hate them. But when I think

of _why_ I hate them...

**...**

There's a lot I haven't told you.

**...**

I was scared. You would think less of me. That's why I didn't pick up. If I told you, then

...you would stop calling.

You not telling us anything made us worry even more. Do you realize that?

I'm sorry. I thought I was protecting you, somehow.

From what, yourself?

...

Why tell me now?

I suppose...it's the next thing I need to do. When I tell you, then it can be over. I think.

What _did_ you do?

...

I'm not totally ignorant. Killua has some idea, too.

Killua?

Says he knows the feeling.

...

You two are a lot alike, in a way. I miss that kid. I hope he's having fun with Alluka.

I've never talked to Alluka. There's so much that I missed.

Yeah, a lot's happened.

It feels like years since we were all together last.

Yeah. We need to find a place to meet up again. Like Yorknew.

God, _not_ like Yorknew.

Ok, you're right. Anywhere _but_ Yorknew.

That was one of the most terrible weeks I've ever had.

You were running a high fever for a good part of it.

That's right, I was sick there at the end. That wasn't the worst part.

That's the part you spent with me, so it was the _best_ part.

I said it wasn't the _worst_ part. That doesn't mean it was the best.

It was, trust me. Maybe you just don't remember it.

Because I was delirious. From fever.

Exactly.

And why should I trust you?

Are you _seriously_ \--I waited on you, _hand and foot_ , and you ask why you should trust

me. Unbelievable. See if I help you the next time you get sick.

I don't intend to, so I guess we'll never know.

**...**

Where are you now? You say you left the valley.

Still in Lukso for tonight. I leave tomorrow.

Oh, that was fast. So are you, uh--you're coming home tomorrow?

That was the plan.

When do you get in? Airship or train? I'll try to meet you there, whichever it is.

Train. It'll be a full day's ride, so I won't actually be back tomorrow. I'll get in the day

after, at 11:35.

Oh, right, Lukso is pretty far by train. But still--the day after tomorrow, wow. It's been

so long. It's been so long since I saw you off somewhere. It's been since--Yorknew.

Yeah.

Wow. Kinda surreal.

I've never been before.

You'll be the first of our little gang to see it! I'll show you around. It'll be great. I can

introduce you to my buddies and we can all go out for drinks--if you want; you don't

have to. Hell, I don't know if you even like that stuff.

Why wouldn't I like meeting your friends?

I dunno. You're so _serious_ and quiet. I've never been able to picture you at a party or

anything. Plus you might not like my friends.

Well, I won't know until I meet them. Maybe I'll surprise you.

Just don't feel pressured or anything. I can ditch those guys for the night. I see them

every day already. You're high priority.

I am?

Yeah, you are! We've faced death together, like, four times, at _least!_ Plus you're my

guest--unless you don't want to be. I'd understand if you don't.

Why wouldn't I want to stay with you? Leorio, you're not making any sense.

I just don't want to _presume_ or anything.

Why are you so nervous?

I'm not _nervous_ , I've just never had you over before and I don't want you to be

uncomfortable! I want to be a good host!

Anyone who gets this worked up over it is bound to be a good host.

**...**

You should go back to bed.

Well, I can't now. I'm all worked up. I need to start cleaning, or something.

Oh, don't do that. I could--no.

What?

Nevermind.

You know that whenever you say that, the other person is obligated to make you say

what it was you didn't want to say.

You want to hear it?

 _Yes_ , I want to hear it. You piqued my curiosity.

...I could stay on the phone with you. Like you did when I called a few days ago.

How is that stupid? That was _my_ idea.

No it wasn't. I was the one who asked you to do it.

No, I suggested it and you agreed.

I don't remember that.

I do. You passed out before I had to start boring you to sleep with a lymphatic diseases

spelling test.

Well, I don't have anything like that with me.

You mean you didn't bring a medical textbook with you? Weird.

I didn't bring _any_ kind of book with me.

Really? You're a reader, Kurapika. I'm surprised. You blew through those books when we

were in Trick Tower.

Well, we also didn't have anything else to do to pass the time.

True. That still ranks among one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

Oh, I'm sure you've done stupider.

...I'm too tired to insult you back.

You just can't think of a good one.

I don't _have_ to pick you up at the station. You can find your own way around.

I'll just follow the noxious cloud of cologne trailing behind you and find you that way.

If Gon could do it-- 

It's _nice_ cologne. You like it.

...

 _Ha!_ You _do_ like it!

You're putting words in my mouth.

I'm inferring the obvious meaning behind your silence.

I'm hanging up. _Go to sleep._

No, wait, Kurapika--

What?

Stay on the phone with me. I'll actually try to sleep this time, I promise.

...alright.

**...**

Hey, Kurapika?

Yes?

I'm really excited to see you.

Me, too. It'll be nice.

**...**

Leorio?

Hm?

Oh, you're still awake.

Yeah.

I'm just--being back here has made me remember so many things I'd forgotten about.

But it still feels so distant. The sounds and the smells all feel different to me. Still

familiar, but I don't recognize them as well.

You've been away for a long time.

I just never expected--I don't know how I thought it would feel, to come back. Not

like this.

...is there anything left in the valley?

No. What little was left is overgrown and looted.

**...**

I'm sorry.

**...**

I'm glad I came back. I buried them deep in our own ground. Where they should have

been.

...

Where are you from, Leorio?

Huh?

Did you already tell me?

...I don't think so. Why are you asking?

I realized I didn't know.

Well, I don't bring it up much, so that's why.

I'm sorry. Did I--

No, don't feel bad. There's just--not much to tell. You know about why I left.

Have you ever gone back to visit?

No.

Why not? If I can ask that.

I don't want to go back until I've made it. 

As a doctor?

Yeah. I won't let myself go back there until I can show up to treat people pro bono. I'll go

back when I've got the license and the money to do what I set out to do.

That may be years, Leorio.

I know. I expect it to take years. But that's my condition.

That's your contract.

Yeah. You get it. I can't go back until I've earned the right to go back properly.

Do you keep in touch with them?

...

Sorry. I should let you go to sleep.

**...**

...oh, he's snoring.

**...**

Goodnight, Leorio.

**[call ended at 22:18. duration: 01:22]**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> transcription of a phone call made from an open-air train car

**Dialing: Leorio P.**

**...**

**...**

**[answered at 15:19]**

It's you again!

It's me.

You can't keep calling me first, Kurapika. I might start to think you actually like me.

I'm actually just waiting around until you're a wealthy doctor and I can scam you out of

your money.

And how do you plan on doing that?

I'm not giving my plan away just because you asked me what it was.

I bet I could guess.

Then guess.

...

...Well?

...I just got off the phone with Killua and Alluka a minute ago.

Oh, how are they?

They're good! They're good. Taking care of each other. I should tell them to call again

once you get into town so you can meet Alluka. And Killua will want to hear from you, 

too. And Gon. We've got a lot of catching up to do.

We do. I've missed their voices.

Is that why you've been hitting me up so much?

What, catching up with you?

Missing my voice.

Hard to miss a voice you can always hear from across the room.

Am I the only person you bully like this? Please say yes.

You're too easy to bully. I can't help it.

Where are you right now? You said you'd still be on the way today.

I'm not quite sure. The train had to stop because some fallen trees blocked the tracks.

I was calling to tell you the train would arrive behind schedule.

Oh--well, I'm glad they stopped it in time. Do you know how behind?

Not yet. I can't see the fallen trees from where I am, but I expect clearing them will

take a while.

Guess I shouldn't expect you in time for lunch, then. Damn. I knew just where to take

you, too.

Where?

Oh, nothing fancy. They just do a great sandwich there. The guys who work behind the

counter all know me, so I'd look real cool bringing you in and telling them to make me

my usual and asking about their kids, and you'd think, "Wow, he's pretty great. Maybe

I'll stop bullying him all the time, since he doesn't really deserve it."

...

You're not saying anything but I can _hear_ you smiling.

You have an overactive imagination.

There it is!

You changed the subject earlier. You still need to guess how I'm scamming you

out of your money.

...I had a guess, but I realized it was impossible.

What was it?

Well--the obvious, you know.

What does that mean? "The obvious." There are lots of obvious ways to get

someone's money.

Ok, the _easiest,_ then.

Mmm. You're right, impossible.

 _What?!_ You're breaking my heart over here! _Never?_ No chance at all? Am I that repulsive

to you?

Of course not. Why? Do you _want_ me to murder you someday?

Oh--that's not what I was thinking.

What were you thinking?

The _other_ easiest way.

...stealing it _without_ killing you first?

 _No!_ You're hopeless.

Well, _you_ can't say what you mean. That's not like you, Leorio.

**...**

I just wanted you to say it first.

That would ruin my plan. I would lose if I said it first.

What?

It would have to be your idea and I generously agree to it. It keeps suspicion off of me.

And I'd probably make you ask more than once before I said yes.

 _Why?_ If you'll say yes in the end anyway, why make me wait?

That's the first test, to see how willing you are to trust me. But I'd say that it was for

 _your_ sake, since my shady past will make other people suspicious of my intentions. I

have to get you on my side against everyone else first so you won't suspect me later

when I do betray you.

...you've really thought this out...that's kind of troubling...

I could probably still pull it off if I asked you first, though. You would say yes and I'd

be able to manipulate funds without you noticing. But outsiders would see through it

and turn you against me, and I'd rather have you defending me.

Hold on--why do you assume I wouldn't make _you_ wait? What if I'm not ready to commit

yet? I'm young and free right now! I wouldn't give that up so easily!

Well, I wouldn't ask you _now_. I'd be paying for school, too, if I did. You'd be draining

my funds, not adding to them. Too high a risk just to seal the deal.

I wish I could figure out how to charm some wealthy lady into paying my tuition.

That seems rather obvious. Kind of thought you were already doing that.

Listen--I've _tried_ , but none of them seem to like me despite all of my good qualities.

No accounting for taste, I suppose.

...did you just compliment me?

I--That wasn't a compliment.

_You did!_

No! I was trying to insult you!

Just admit that you did!

_No._

Admit that you complimented me and I'll drop it.

Why do you need to win this?

Because I _never_ win. Say it.

 _Fine._ You're a good person. You're loyal and hardworking and your instinct is to help

other people without questioning them or their choices. You're a better friend than I

deserve and I'm glad I met you. Are you happy?

And I'm handsome.

...I'm not giving you that.

I'll get that one out of you someday.

Maybe if you don't fight to drag it out of me first.

**...**

Being in the open-air car reminds me of the train to Pakodea.

Yeah, we rode most of the way with the wind in our faces. Gon was enjoying it.

It was good weather that day.

**...**

I can't imagine growing up in that house.

Neither can I.

It's amazing he survived it.

...

...It's amazing any of us have survived what's happened to us.

A lot's happened to us.

Yeah.

We've happened to other people, in some cases.

Mmm.

...did that make the balance right? For things to have happened to us, and for us to

become the thing that happened to other people back. Or did we just bring worse things

upon ourselves?

Is this about _us_ or you?

...

I'm not sure. I think the best we can do is to hope that when we hurt someone, we can

be forgiven, and try to do the same thing when we get hurt. Maybe not right away, but

eventually.

**...**

Are you still there?

I'm still here.

It's very quiet.

The train is still stopped. I can hear birdsong from the woods.

Sounds peaceful.

...the man who taught me nen said that.

"Forgiveness is better than revenge?"

That "revenge is pointless." But he taught me anyway.

I didn't mean _that_. Revenge isn't pointless. And when you've decided to do something,

nobody can change your mind about it. He probably just knew that was a battle he

shouldn't pick with you.

But forgiveness is still better? Even when it's impossible?

Not when it's impossible. But you told me you hadn't taken complete revenge and you're

coming home anyway. It's not exactly forgiveness, but it's not revenge, either.

...it feels like giving up. Like I'm betraying myself to want to stop now. But here I am

doing it when I've given everything to revenge. My whole life.

**...**

I don't think it's a cop-out. You run yourself ragged with revenge. I want you to live past

30\. If you didn't stop willingly you'd stop when you passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Leorio...I'm so tired.

Then _rest_. Don't feel guilty about it. You need it.

**...**

I might take your advice and go back to the sleeper car.

I think that's a good idea.

I'll call when I get there.

Ok.

Thank you for answering my rhetorical question.

That was supposed to be rhetorical?

I think I did want an answer, even if I knew what it was already.

...

I did mean what I said. About you being better than I deserved.

Don't say that.

It's the truth. I'm lucky.

Save it for when you see me tomorrow, ok? Go get some sleep.

Alright. If the doctor is telling me to, I will.

You're getting _way_ ahead of me.

If the _unlicensed med student_ is telling me to...

See you soon, Kurapika.

See you soon.

**[call ended at 16:04. duration: 00:45.]**


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a transcript of a phone call in a crowded station terminal

**Dialing: Leorio P.**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**[answered at 14:37]**

Hello?

Guess who?

...did you just--

I'm behind you, Leorio, just turn around.

**...**

I still can't see you.

I'm walking in a straight line towards you. _How_ do you not see me yet?

Maybe if you stopped being so tiny I could find you in a crowd like this.

I'm tall enough to punch you in the mouth without jumping.

Aww, did you grow a few inches since I last saw you?

You're bad at this, Leorio. You need better material.

You w-- _Kurapika! There you are!_

 _Agh,_ right in my--I heard you _without_ the phone.

Then hang up!

 _You_ hang up.

**...**

Awful sentimental of you, trying to "guess who" me.

...stop giving me that look.

You're speedwalking to compensate for your short little legs. It's adorable.

_Hang up the phone!_

**[call ended at 14:40. duration: 00:03.]**

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like this fic has been written over and over but leopikas can't get enough of this delicious crumb so here you are: crumb leftovers for dinner again tonight. title comes from "goodbye, my danish sweetheart" by mitski


End file.
